Welcome back to our Self-Regulation Series where we are digging a little deeper into the concept of self-regulation and how we can incorporate it into our routines and curriculums. 

In Part 1 we looked at some ways we want to define self-regulation–and some ways we don’t–while in Part 2 we looked at examples of self-regulation in the classroom. In Part 3 we are covering a topic that is on many professional’s minds when they look into self-regulation options and one we have already touched on briefly in this series: challenging or harmful behavior. 

In this post we hope to acknowledge the value of finding ways to mitigate harmful behavior for a given student’s own benefit but also explain why it is so important not to simply fixate on the behavior itself if the wellbeing of our student is the primary goal.

You may have heard before when thinking about what to do in a challenging situation that the first step in that moment is to mitigate any harm and try to deescalate and that the best way to address the behavior itself is with proactive strategies that can be practiced outside of those most stressful moments. Let’s take a look at just a few of the proactive strategies we can use to try to address harmful behavior before it happens. We should do so with one foundational thought in mind: self-regulation is not always easy, and we need to approach self-regulation skills like we would any other skill. It requires practice, progress isn’t always linear, and we won’t always succeed every time. 

If we only focus on limiting the behavior, however important it might be to do so, we are doing a disservice to our students who may need more practice or help when we think of them as failing for not being able to adjust a behavior right away in the exact right way. With that foundational thought in mind let’s dive in!

Our first step is derived from the framework we are using the approach this topic. When we fixate too much on the behavior itself, we often miss out on the contributing factors that led a student to feel overwhelmed or out of control in the first place. 

When we solely fixate on behavior in those situations we run the risk of simply teaching a student that they need to suffer in silence because all anyone cares about is whether they act out. Even though the behavior may be genuinely harmful, it is still just a symptom and we can’t truly feel better unless we address what is causing the symptom. 

In some cases, such as smells or noises that might lead to sensory overload, it may be possible to eliminate certain triggers entirely! Other triggers might not be so easily avoidable, but at least we can address them as best we can proactively rather than letting them go unaddressed. 

This is something you can talk about with your student, and even if they aren’t sure what triggers them it can be worthwhile to explore further to see if a triggering input can be identified.

This step can be helpful for teachings seeking to mitigate a challenging situation, but we here we are primarily talking about the ways a student can benefit from recognizing the small signs that they might be close to having a meltdown or in desperate need of decompression. 

Many Autistic people struggle with interoception and in some cases might think they feel fine in one moment and be overwhelmed the next. It can take some self-examination to recognize some signs that might not feel so significant in the moment. 

The student should lead their own self-examination in this context, but as a teacher you can offer some helpful suggestions of what you might have noticed about those situations, and students should be able to take or leave those observations depending on whether they are helpful to the process. 

Students who recognize the signs early can take steps to address the source of distress before it becomes overwhelming.

Another proactive step we can take with our students is trying to plan out what we will do when a challenging moment does arise. Let’s be clear: plans do not always go as expected, and it may take some tries to find a plan that feels like it is moving in a helpful direction. 

But even knowing that a plan is in place for those moments can be a helpful anchor point when everything else feels uncertain. 

The most crucial component of this plan is talking with your student about what they think could help them in those situations so that they can have that plan in their back pocket. It might include some methods of self-regulation, but it may also include a shorthand for easily signaling that they need help or a designated space to go to try their self-regulation strategies. 

Also crucially it can be very helpful to practice this plan ahead of time so everyone’s working memory of what to do kicks in and we don’t have to rely on distant recall in the middle of a potentially very stressful moment.

Finally, and along the lines of planning out what to do, a social story can be a great summation of all the proactive exercises we pointed out before. 

A social story can acknowledge and remind us of what is going on, of the things we can do to help ourselves, and that we are capable of managing the challenge in front of us. 

It is great reinforcement of the plans we might choose to implement, and also of the reality that these moments are just a challenge the student must navigate and that they have not failed just because they find themselves in such a situation. 

A good social story is most helpful when read ahead of time, but for those a social story resonates with it might even help with self-regulation in certain crucial moments.

With that we are wrapping up part 3 but as always we want to hear about your experiences. 

If you have had any experiences being proactive about addressing harmful behavior, have worked through your own self-regulation challenges, or just want to see us cover this topic more in-depth then we would love to hear from you at hello@autismgrownup.com. 

Otherwise, we will be back next week for part 4 where we will focus on teaching self-regulation.